It’s on days like these

I can’t think of myself being worthy of love 


I can’t even imagine myself being worthy of staying alive 

Anymore


My body aches

From the everyday battles  

For the right to stay alive


The feeling I get, 

that everything I’ve been fighting so hard for these past years,

is falling apart is drowning me


Pushing and pushing 

It’s making me sick to my core 


It’s on days like these

When I feel like I can’t take it anymore 

I can’t take yet another day 

feeling like this


When the darkness is eating me up

Swallowing me 

When all I want is to go back to the old bad habits that almost killed me,

not once, but three times… 


I feel like I don’t have the strength to stand up on my own two feet’s anymore 


I’ve reached my lowest point

again

And nothing really matters anymore

And I’m so tired of fighting this


I am fucking tired of always having to be strong

Always having to stand tall

Be the smart one

Be the fast one

The good one

The empathetic one

The one who alway put everyone else first

And myself last. 


I’m just so tired

And I don’t know how to get up again

this time I really don’t know 

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