when you realize that you’re suicidal again
and that the anxiety attacks you’ve been having a lot the past three months
is because you’ve been denying it
refusing to accept that you can sink that low
again
… is it really that fucking hard for my brain to just WANT to live?
why do I have to fight so much fucking harder than ‘anyone else’ to stay the fuck alive?
they call me a fighter
but to be honest?
I don’t want to be one …
not if it means
FIGHTING MY OWN GOD DAMNED BRAIN
every single day
THAT ONLY WANTS ME DEAD!
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